So. Wedding planning has been getting on my nerves lately. Mainly due to asshole bridesmaids. Hey, MOH, can you come help me address invitations? I really would like your help...Yeah, sure! I'll come over this Saturday and we'll do whatever you want to do!...Then when Saturday rolls around, I don't hear anything from her...she doesn't call, she doesn't show....This has happened 5 times. I've learned to not get my hopes up.
Same with my BM. I haven't heard from her in a few months. She's got family problems...which are now interfering with my wedding problems. I've been having second thoughts about my dress selection. I made plans with my mom, to try on my dress, stress-free for the first time. Both times I've had it on, someone else altered my good mood and I've never been able to enjoy having *my* dress on. Therefore, I've been having second thoughts about it truly being *my* dress.
So I spend 3 hours on my hair and makeup, trying my best to replicate what I imagine looking like on my wedding day. I'm in a fantastic mood. I call my parents house, letting them know I'll be on my way soon....and start crying as my dad informs me that my mom had to cater to my sister. Again. My sister couldn't possibly go pick her kids up from school, because she was in the middle of an AA meeting. Yeah, the meeting is more important than her children. And of course, she puts my mom on a guilt trip, so my mom can't refuse driving across town to pick up her grandchildren...when my selfish sister is only 5 minutes away.
She ruined my dress shopping the first time, by storming out of the salon because nobody's paying attention to her. And she ruined it again, by being a little attention whore. Sure, my mom would be home in a few hours, but by then, my curls will have dropped, my makeup smudged, and my good mood demolished. She's getting on my last nerve. Both of them are. I'm very close to eliminating my bridal party. I'm not sure if it's worth the stress anymore...The job of the bridesmaids is to keep me stress-free; these selfish, forgetful, self-centered jerks are only adding to my stress. I don't even know if I can trust them to do what I need them to do on May 26th. They'll be too preoccupied with themselves, to take care of me....I feel like I'd be better off just doing everything myself. I already have!
Anyway. I tried on the dress. But was still pretty depressed by my sister's actions, so it affected how I felt in the dress. My mom tried her best to make me feel good, by saying loving things like "This dress is so stunning; Mr. Margarita will be captivated; It looks perfect on you; You truly look like a bride; It's just the right amount of sexy and traditional; I can see you walking down the aisle in this..." And it worked a little. But the sadness and disappointment was still there. I still am not 100% happy with the dress, mostly because I'm not 100% happy in general. Maybe when I go to get it altered, then I'll have that "Ah-ha!" moment and maybe I'll come to tears and maybe I'll be able to envision walking down the aisle in this dress, like a bride is supposed to.
Well, here it is. This is exactly what I'll look like on my wedding day (except the hair will look better). Here, I'm wearing my dress, my veil, my tiara, my necklace, my earrings...
Same with my BM. I haven't heard from her in a few months. She's got family problems...which are now interfering with my wedding problems. I've been having second thoughts about my dress selection. I made plans with my mom, to try on my dress, stress-free for the first time. Both times I've had it on, someone else altered my good mood and I've never been able to enjoy having *my* dress on. Therefore, I've been having second thoughts about it truly being *my* dress.
So I spend 3 hours on my hair and makeup, trying my best to replicate what I imagine looking like on my wedding day. I'm in a fantastic mood. I call my parents house, letting them know I'll be on my way soon....and start crying as my dad informs me that my mom had to cater to my sister. Again. My sister couldn't possibly go pick her kids up from school, because she was in the middle of an AA meeting. Yeah, the meeting is more important than her children. And of course, she puts my mom on a guilt trip, so my mom can't refuse driving across town to pick up her grandchildren...when my selfish sister is only 5 minutes away.
She ruined my dress shopping the first time, by storming out of the salon because nobody's paying attention to her. And she ruined it again, by being a little attention whore. Sure, my mom would be home in a few hours, but by then, my curls will have dropped, my makeup smudged, and my good mood demolished. She's getting on my last nerve. Both of them are. I'm very close to eliminating my bridal party. I'm not sure if it's worth the stress anymore...The job of the bridesmaids is to keep me stress-free; these selfish, forgetful, self-centered jerks are only adding to my stress. I don't even know if I can trust them to do what I need them to do on May 26th. They'll be too preoccupied with themselves, to take care of me....I feel like I'd be better off just doing everything myself. I already have!
Anyway. I tried on the dress. But was still pretty depressed by my sister's actions, so it affected how I felt in the dress. My mom tried her best to make me feel good, by saying loving things like "This dress is so stunning; Mr. Margarita will be captivated; It looks perfect on you; You truly look like a bride; It's just the right amount of sexy and traditional; I can see you walking down the aisle in this..." And it worked a little. But the sadness and disappointment was still there. I still am not 100% happy with the dress, mostly because I'm not 100% happy in general. Maybe when I go to get it altered, then I'll have that "Ah-ha!" moment and maybe I'll come to tears and maybe I'll be able to envision walking down the aisle in this dress, like a bride is supposed to.
Well, here it is. This is exactly what I'll look like on my wedding day (except the hair will look better). Here, I'm wearing my dress, my veil, my tiara, my necklace, my earrings...
Seeing the pictures, after FI has made me feel better, and after I've edited them all pretty, makes me feel good. So, I'm sticking with this one. It does look lovely on me...
Now then...I've got to make a tough decision...whether or not to keep my BP. One's already dropped out, two remain. To keep, or not to keep. That is the question...
Now then...I've got to make a tough decision...whether or not to keep my BP. One's already dropped out, two remain. To keep, or not to keep. That is the question...
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